I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
