No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
