I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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