he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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