I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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