Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
