I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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