break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
