her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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