Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
