So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
