If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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