just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize