There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
