I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
