thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
