it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
