It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
