i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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