dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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