I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize