I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
