i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
