im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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