Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
