Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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