is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
whose parrot is this?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
