billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
