Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
