I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Randomize
