I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
