She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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