Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
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They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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