You really coming over, don't trick.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
