So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
