I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
