I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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