I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
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They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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