so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize