no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
