How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
