can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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