she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
