The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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