I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
