with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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