New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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