you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
pray to the hookup gods
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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