So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
