haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
