Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
