Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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