I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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