All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize