No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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