So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
