I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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