We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
