So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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