he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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