It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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