If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
