Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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